Trying to catch up and catch my breath...

It has been way too long since I last posted. My apologies. So much has been going on....

My husband and I filed for a divorce on our 8th anniversary (June 19th) which was sorta long overdue. We've been separated for almost 4 years and the reasons we were waiting, no longer seemed important to me. The separation did have its benefits such as allowing all of us to get used to the idea of living separately, time to mourn the death of the marriage and heal the wounds, time to pay off marital debts and split up assets and allow our daughter to make the adjustment and grow up enough to understand a little bit better. The divorce was more than civil, friendly even; no drama for us...never has been. I did all the paperwork myself and it is uncontested so we are just waiting on the copy of the signed final judgement. It should be final by the end of August.

Our daughter turned 7 at the end of July and I planned out a huge LUAU for it. That took up most of my July getting all that planned and organized. We had about 30 people there and it turned out terrific. I even made the birthday cake myself! Two days, 5 boxes of cake batter, 14 cups of homemade buttercream icing and a little help from my neighbor...and this is the resulting work of art:

Now we are preparing for school to start back for us both. Sydni is going into the 2nd grade and I have two classes at night this semester. Thankfully, Ms. Patty will be coming over to sit with Sydni while I'm in class. I've been dreading the start of classes...they are getting harder and more time consuming. But I keep trudging along....keep moving forward and eventually I get to that bachelors degree.

We are looking forward to our trip to Boston to visit my friend, Kirsten and her family. This will be Sydni's first trip in a plane. She is becoming quite the traveler. She went to the Grand Canyon with my folks in July, she's been to the Smokie Mtns, Orlando, Atlanta SixFlags, Missouri and so on. I think she loves to travel as much as I do! She keeps reminding me that I told her I would one day take her to Italy. That will be my reward to myself for finishing my degree. She should be 10 or 11 by then!

Until then....I'm thinking our next trip may be to St. Augustine or maybe Ashville or maybe Cedar Park, TX or Sacremento, CA.... who knows?!

Hillbillies on Parade

What a great trip! I brought back lots of inspiration from my time on the road and visiting with family. I realized how much family means to my entire family. No matter what dramas might be swirling in their lives, they come together with love in their hearts and they do not drag each other down but lift each other up. What a comfort it was to be around that kind of love and positive attitude.

We ate a great dinner of BBQ with all the sides and desserts you could imagine. We sang, played or listened to the music made by our families. The kids swam in the pool to beat the heat. It was a successful reunion. This is my daughter in the pool.

My granny on guitar and a cousin on banjo....told you we were hillbillies! hahaha

The highlight for me had to be looking through the scrapbook that one of my cousins has lovingly put together of our families beginning back in the late 1800's. It was another inspiration for me. I have had intentions of gathering all of the old family photos and putting them in my own scrapbook to preserve our stories and history. Now, the fire has been stoked to get the book completed. It was so awesome to look through her book and see my great grandmother on her wedding day and my grandmother at age 19...so beautiful! This picture shows my granny and her sisters.

Here are a few photos of my "hillbilly" family reunion.

This is some of my cousins...my granny's neices. Lots of love in their hearts!There's my granny playing guitar.

Me... ain't I purty?

It was a good trip but alot of driving from Florida to Missouri! I'm exhausted. Off to bed.

PS Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you!

On the Road Again...

Heading to Poplar Bluff, MO today for the Moore Family Reunion. I haven't been since 2002 and I'm eager to see my relatives. Especially my Uncle Ricky. What a cool cat! He's a confirmed bachelor so to have his sisters, mom and neices under his roof is a hormone overload to his male senses!! It shouldn't be so fun to watch him squirm... but it is!

This reunion... the name of my blog... they are intertwined you know. Sometimes I feel like my life has been over shadowed by a "weight problem" even when I was at a healthy weight. My parents both told me over and over when I was young...I don't even know when it started... that I would ALWAYS have to watch my weight because of my genetics. My family. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Great Aunts and Uncles... mostly over-weight. The women on BOTH sides of my family (except my Mom) are big women. I'm talking 200+ pounds.

Do you have any idea what this barrage of messages to watch my weight does to a girl's mentality? I grew up thinking I was fat and that nothing I did would change that fact. I've never been satisfied with my body. Not even when I was a healthy 125 at age 22. I look back at pictures of myself in high school and after and think how gorgeous I was and how could I have even thought I was fat???? It saddens me to look at those pictures and I grieve for the girl that couldn't even enjoy herself at that time.

Now days... I know what fat really is. I'm unhealthy, inactive and over-weight. I just had to start taking pills for my cholesterol. I'm depressed most of the time over seemingly nothing and basically just can't seem to love myself. And yes, my parents still will make comments about my weight but not as much as they use to. Simply because I told them how I feel and that I didn't want to hear it ever again. They basically made me this way with all of their negative badgering.

So here I am today, in the process of taking control of my life and my health, about to rub elbows with the relatives that can share in my struggles, understand my feelings and maybe show me that I'm okay.

Next time I post, I'll share some photos of the family. What can I say...we love to eat!

Random Thoughts....

My feet stink. I hate these leather slip on shoes because they got wet once and now they smell anytime I wear them. No, my feet don't typically stink or sweat for that matter. I swear, it's the leather in the shoes that makes them do this! GAG! Hope no one in the cubicles near by can smell them.... more Exotic Coconut lotion to cover it up! Ah.... much better! Opps, everyone that walks by is asking if I just got back from the beach! ;o) hahaha

So I'm a little bit miffed that Bachelor Andy kicked Danielle to the curb. Seriously, she was the one that he said fit him in the areas of family and morals. But no, he keeps Tessa who is doing a bang up job of playing hard to get and stringing Andy along; and he keeps Bevin because he has chemistry with her, but she has some major issues brewing below the surface I think. If I have to guess which one he chooses at the finale, it's going to be Tessa. Something about her... I just don't like, all that stand-off-ish-ness is just too cold for me. I was hoping it would have been Danielle. Yes, I know that there are hours of footage on some over-paid editor's floor that could probably explain why he chose the girls he did, but.... we will never see that footage so I am basing my opinion on what we were shown.

Hemorrhoids suck! Nuf said! Oh, and my last remaining wisdom tooth is trying to break through...yippy!

Will my daughter ever really know how much I love her? How my heart aches and bursts all at the same time when she laughs? She is such a wonderful person already. She makes me laugh all the time. Life is so much brighter through her eyes!

Dude! Shrek 3 hits theaters this weekend! I might be even more excited than my daughter is! Heeeellllloooooo? Why do you think people have kids? So they can see animated movies guilt free! Yeah, she's my cover story.

And I cannot wait to see the third installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean! Orlando Bloom is yummy eye candy! Summer movies ROCK!

Tylenol PM is the BOMB! Allows me to sleep each and every night pain free! Amen!

Now, I'm off to snag another Diet Coke...

Sand Castles

I took my daughter to the beach this evening so that I could try out my new camera and also get some shots of her to use on her birthday invitations. She'll be 7 at the end of July and she's having a Luau themed party.

There was an awesome sand castle on the beach that I had her pose by. The wind was blowing hard and the seas were rough. But isn't it beautiful?!

I'm so glad spring is here and summer is right around the corner! I hope to take many pictures like this in the coming seasons.

Daydreaming

Spring/Summer Fever is upon me. I know this for several reasons as my mind flits from here to there planning all the Spring and Summer activities.



I sit here at my desk, suppose to be working on something else, and all I can think about is taking my daughter to Big Kahuna's water park this weekend!! She has been begging me to take her since they opened two weekends ago and I even bought us season passes this year. I look forward to lounging by the pool, watching her play on the slides with the other children, and just enjoying the peacefulness that water brings. Plus, I've stocked up on the SPF 50 so I am ready for the sun....bring it on!



I have also been urging myself to perform a much needed Springtime PURGING. This requires lots of energy, time, cleaning out closets, organizing, etc... Just thinking about it tires me out! I don't know how I'm ever going to actually do it but it absolutely needs to be done. Is it wrong to be envious of other people's OCD? Is it wrong to ask Dooce to vacation in FL just to help me clean my house? It wouldn't be taking advantage of her OCD if I take her daughter to the park to play with my daughter....it would be a trade off! ;o)



I do have to mention that I am truly grateful for the beauty that I live in every day. Every time I drive over the bridges to Okaloosa Island and Destin, the scene still takes my breath away. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

This is my friend's son on the beach in December. I shot some pictures of the two of them for their Christmas cards. Isn't the emerald green waters gorgeous?

I hope everyone has a chance to enjoy the blue skies and the torquiose waters of my hometown this year.

Mother's Day Quiz

Test your knowledge of these facts from the U.S. Census Bureau.

1. How many mothers are there in the United States?
A. 60.2 million B. 70.4 million C. 80.5 million D. 90.3 million

2. How many children on average can a woman in the United States expect to have in her lifetime?
A. 1.7 B. 2.1 C. 2.4 D. 1.9

3. What state has the highest average number of births per year per woman?
A. Utah B. New York C. Illinois D. Nevada

4. What is the most popular month to have a baby?
A. November B. February C. May D. July

5. What is the most popular day of the week to have a baby?
A. Monday B. Tuesday C. Wednesday D. Thursday

I am blessed!

Now that the big day is over and I'm not quite so moody....I'll admit that it was a good day. My family called me throughout the day with birthday wishes or song to deliver. Friends emailed, texted messaged or called as well. I'm blessed to be surrounded by love. Two of my girlfriends took me to lunch. Sydni and I went to dinner last night, my choice, so I had sushi...she had teriyaki chicken. Then we went home and baked a strawberry birthday cake.....'cause it's my favorite. My neighbor and his son came over and helped decorate the cake, complete with 3 candles (cause I didn't want to burn the place down with 35!) and they sang to me. Then we gobbled up some cake! A good day for sure.

Life goes on, I'm older, wiser and determined to learn from mistakes, pick myself up, dust off and move on. My biggest goal this year, really is to learn how to love myself. I truly have a lot of love to give but never seem to point it in my own direction. Why is that? Are women just made that way, to curb their own wants, desires, dreams to NUTURE those they love and are in charge of? I know there has to be women out there that can do it all. Any advice on how to take care of daily responsibilities and still love yourself and take care of yourself?

I've been reading this site www.dooce.com for a while now and she really inspires me that I can learn to juggle all that life throws me. Her family and stories are food for the soul. Thank you Dooce for that!

Happy Freakin' Birthday to ME!

Is it even LEGAL to wake up in a bad mood on your BIRTHDAY?! Well, I guess that since it is my birthday, I can do what ever I want, so let the bad mood continue...

Seriously, you know why some birthdays are harder than others? Because the ones that really SUCK are the ones where you are in the worst place possible in your life. I am not where I want to be in life. I do not want to be overweight or suffering from depression. I do not want to be in a failed marriage or seperated for over three years now. I do not want to be alone or tired or moody or irritated at life in general. I do not want to be dissappointed in people that are suppose to love me. I do not want to feel like I'm about to die at any given moment and this is the way people will remember me. I do not want to be such a bad example of how to live for my daughter. She deserves so much more.

And I am so tired of kicking myself in the ass and telling myself to just stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back on track. Just get up stupid and put your clothes away that have piled up to the ceiling. Just clean your house that has been neglected for months. Just keep your car cleaned out for pete's sake! Just do it!

Fact is, I can't just do it and that makes me feel even more guilty and worthless. Like something is wrong with me....guess what, there is, I'm depressed and my happy pills don't work anymore!!

But there is no one in my life that understands this, not even me. No one to say, Gala, it's not your fault, it's a desease that can be treated and let me make that appointment for you and take you to the doctor so he/she can get you on the path to living again. No one cares, so why should I?

Man, today is not the day for a birthday. I think I will postpone my birthday until I feel like being a happy birthday gal. That's what I will do....no birthday for me today....nope. Put away the cards, candles and wishes....I'm postponing the celebration because frankly, there's nothing to celebrate today.

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Birthday Logic

I will turn 35 in two days. I am at the mid-point of my life and I still feel like a lost soul trying to find my way in the fog. When I was 16, I just knew that my life would be perfect by the time I reached this age. I’d have a perfect job that I loved and that fulfilled me. I’d have a wonderful, loving husband that made me laugh and was my partner in all things. I’d have at least two if not four great kids that provided all the entertainment one could ever need. And I would have a gaggle of tight girlfriends that would get together often to celebrate our wonderful lives.

Here I am at 35 and I have one great kid, two failed marriages, a great job and some great friends and some disappointing friends. The optimist in me sees that I’m half-way there, but the pessimist in me says, “Damn! I’m freakin’ tired of getting my heart broken and cleaning up after my horrible failures!”

So what is a girl to do? Dust myself off, re-evaluate what went wrong and what I can do better next time and go forth and live. What else can I do?

What do I want for my 35th year of life? I want to get healthy: lose weight, exercise more and eat healthy most of the time (folks, I LOVE to eat!) I want to find more time in my days to get the things done that matter: play with my daughter, do my homework (yes, I’m working on my BAS) and keep a clean and tidy home. I want to love myself unconditionally, the way that I love my daughter, my family and friends. Stop being so hard on myself for not being the perfect person I expect myself to be. Be a good example for my daughter. Keep my bills paid and actually save some money (again, not my strongest trait!). I want to be a better person: kinder, gentler and more peaceful. I want to stop being so darn angry at the world for giving me the genes that make my life such a stinking challenge!!!

Happy Freakin’ Birthday to ME!!